Friday, August 17, 2007

No Problems with America, It Just Needs its Fluids Changed

For those of you who are irritated with the direction of the country, I have a solution. Well, that's not entirely accurate. America has a solution. We need to vote out All incumbents. A real revolution.

See, the United States was built with all the tools it needs to keep it strong and reasonable and the sort of place we where want to live. We just need to use them. The Founding Fathers realized that every once in a while, every nation needs a Good Old Fashioned Revolution. The thirst for power is just too strong for even the nicest of leaders to resist, and in turn they become, as Jefferson said, "Too big for their britches." So they need to be flicked off of their high horse like a booger from the middle finger.


But revolution used to be so bloody and so violent. Nobody really LIKES revolution or decapitations or marching around with pitch forks. Look at all the countries that have actual revolutions or civil wars, Somalia...the erstwhile Yugoslavia...Iraq. They all spend long periods of time as hell holes. It's no good for anybody. So our leaders devised a brilliant way to have revolutions with no bloodshed. They called it Voting.

Now...a lot of you are thinking President. But let's ignore the President for a moment and turn our attention to Congress. Just look at them. Some of those bastards have been in power for, like, FOURTY years. What the hell are they still doing there?

If you want change, if you seriously don't like the direction of the need to flush out the old guard and replace it. All of it.

What we need to do is throw out EVERY incumbent in Washington. Vote for your party of choice, but DON’T vote for an incumbent.

(Some of you out there are saying "Oh, he's some flaming [insert party here] and is just trying to convince us to do something that puts the [insert party here] party in power." To you I say, *slap* SNAP OUT OF IT! Those jerks all benefit from us framing EVERYTHING in partisan terms. They have the rhetoric all carved up and portioned out like pre-packaged Thanksgiving turkey...they're constantly at war with each other to keep peoples' loyalties tied to Somebody in power. Just cut it out, will ya?)

The engine needs to be purged. That's it. A real revolution. No more Chuck Grassley, no more Ted Kennedy. It doesn’t matter how well they served or how experienced they are or what senior positions they hold because they control how the Washington Game is played, and it’s currently being played in a way that dangerously disregards sound decisions in favor of shoring up power.

They need to go. Your engine oil may have kept your car running smoothly for thousands of miles, but once in a while it needs a good flush. Use the same oil too long, and you damage your engine. Use the same political figures too long and they forget where they came from and who they serve. They’re only human. Power gets at everybody because it displaces them from the Real World…it corrupts even the best people. They can’t help it…the machine just gets into them and flakes off into their blood.

So replace them. Flush them out. Remove the questionable relationships and contacts the folks on K street have made with the incumbents by switching the people in control.

Replace them with people who were elected by people, and not sustained by long running relationships with companies with more money and influence than we can dream of.

Vote for whatever party you want. Vote for whatever reason you want. But Do Not Vote For The Incumbent. Those folks are the problem.

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