Friday, August 17, 2007

Beach goers, remember this friendly summer tip: take it the hell with you

Hello Muskegon! For cleaner, more healthful beaches just remember these six easy words: Take It The Hell With You. When you bring something to the beach, take it the hell with you when you go.

It’s been a fine week here on the West Coast and a jaunty group of youths had a fantastic time on the beach last Thursday; playing football, body-boarding, eating snacks, drinking the hooch, emitting pheromones at each other...all the wholesome beach stuff. A fine day for it. Some of them were drinking soda-pops, some were drinking “aged” beverages, some were munching down chips while others were surrounded by a fog of goofy smelling smoke and eating a lot of Swiss Cake Rolls, those rascals.

But trouble’s brewing! The next day, as though transformed by some cosmic crap ray, the previous day’s crowd was replaced by a pile of garbage; water bottles, razor sharp segments of aluminum cans, smashed beer bottles, a bag of something gross. Those beach goers had their fun and left their junk on the beach! Oh no!

On the carefree shores of the West Coast, we recognize it’s your life. Have a great time. Follow your bliss. But don’t leave your junk on the beach. Remember, glass in the foot is glass in the foot no matter who you are. Ouch! So be a good citizen and take it the hell with you.

Say it with me now: “Take it the hell with you.”
All together: “Take it the hell with you.”

What about beer bottles? Yes, take it the hell with you.
Pizza boxes? Take it the hell with you.
Apple core? Take it the hell with you.
Socks and other articles of clothing? That’s right…Take it the hell with you.

Your friend is about to leave something on the beach! Tell him these six friendly words, “take it the hell with you.”

Uh oh! Looks like Junior almost forgot to bring his sand pail. Mother says “take it the hell with you.”

Even Dad is getting in on the fun as he reminds his old friend Jack Daniels to “Take it the hell with you.”

Why, all around Muskegon everybody’s taking it the hell with them. Whatever you bring to the beach, take it the hell with you when you go.

Just take it the hell with you.

No comments: